Purity and marriage

What does purity look like in marriage?

1) Modest dress: not allowing yourself to be a distraction for other married men or for single men. Only sharing your body with your husband. Be covered up and dress age appropriate. 

2) Purity of thought: focus your thought both on God and your husband. Constantly reevaluate what your thinking about. Don't allow yourself to watch movies or shows that will cause you  to stray in your thoughts.

3) Purity of heart: allow God to help guard your heart. Only allow your husband to hold the key to your heart. Remain true to him and don't let your eyes and emotions wander.

Boundaries and Purity

How do Boundatries and Purity work with each other?

To give an example while I don't understand or agree with how some of their boundaries work; I agree with the reason they have them in place. The Duggars' have a daughter courting and she is only allowed to side hug her boyfriend while their engaged daughter is now allowed to also hold hands with her fiancee along with giving side hugs. I agree with the premise of guarding your heart and remaining pure before marriage.

What are some common boundaries that couples have during dating and engaged statuses?

1) Holding hands: Grabbing hands is an affinity for physical touch that often happens during dating. Couples often hold hands and it becomes a symbol of the relationship between the two. Though this is a bit less intimate as a hug or a kiss.

2) Hugs: Some people do side hugs to greet opposite gender. A hug shows affection and greets the person. Most of the population does a full hug as a greeting and even during dating. It's appropriate as a hello but I can see where it might lead to the stirring up of either emotions or hormones that may not be easily kept under control.

3) Kisses: Once again some people decide that a kiss is best saved for the wedding alter. Kisses are even more intimate than a hug because you have to press up against each other and lock lips for a period of time.

Do we put to much stock in what pop culture says about boundaries and purity?

Most definitely there are many people that put too much stock in pop cultures example of purity and adhering to boundaries before marriage. We hear about several single young stars sleeping around  before marriage rather than setting standards for themselves and placing boundaries into affect or not sticking to them while they are in relationships.

It is important to hold onto purity before marriage. Find a spouse that agrees and set the boundaries firm at the beginning of the relationship and then constantly reevaluate the boundaries and see if there are any that can be removed, need to be stricter, or can be added. If you feel that you can't trust your self on single one-on-one date then ask someone to chaperone but at some point you need to give yourselves a chance to practice self control and keep your hormones in check as well as your emotions.

Thoughts on purity

As I reflect on my junior year of college I remember teaching and discussing purity with a group of young junior high girls.  They seemed to understand purity of heart and purity of action. I remember there seemed to be some confusion about purity of thought. 

So the three major areas to focus on in purity are:

1. Purity of heart: actively seeking God and his will for life rather than focusing on what you want. In other words allow God to take care of the timing and who he has planned for you to meet.

2. Purity of action: practice what you preach. Actions speak louder than words so don't tell someone to hold on to their purity and then turn around and relinquish yours people will notice your inconsistencies.

3. Purity of thought: this takes training and attention. Thinking of someone who is not a spouse impurely can be considered cheating. Guard your thoughts and pray daily. 

Purity also includes modesty. If you are immodest than you will allow yourself to fall into impurity.  Lets not forget how pop culture plays into impurity. In pop culture sex sells which leads to impure thoughts about mainly female celebrities.